Meet Shawn Faller.
An American from Covington, KY. After recently changing nationalities
due to inner self conflict spawned from a subconscious disapproval of an
ever growing insecurity of his "hick-like" upbringing. Shawn, began
speaking in German. This ability was spontaneous and as remarkable as it
was, it was later found that it was merely a symptom of his
ever-growing resentment towards a westernized lifestyle, you see, Shawn
wasn't just an ordinary Shawn. He was..."Shawn the lawn Don" or other
names he acquired through popularity such as "long john Shawn" or
"shah-bah-mowmylawnple-shawn"(Indian/Hindustani).
This particular man was known for his notorious lawn care service in Kentucky.
There he became a well known king pin to all that was mowing, shearing or possibly even hedging. His ruthless weed whacking skills and cunning ability to control a vast number of Latinos, all illegal immigrants from "El' Paso" Mexico soon backfired during a small shoot out in Covington, KY. This would later be known as "the little Alamo" some witnesses say the battle was that of a territorial conflict between Shawn the lawn Don himself and local rival "Timothy Jones" a ten year old boy from the area, advertising with his convenient low prices at ten dollars a lawn to end the monopoly that Shawn and his Mexican alias had conceived over time. A record total of 462 people were brutally slain as causalities in the rapid cross fire between Shawn's legion and young Jones. After four days, the battle ended. The victor by default was Jones, having killed Shawn's entire small army while still managing to mow sixty seven lawns in the process. In his staggering humiliation, Shawn fled to Germany, a country he had already grown found of, to avoid his ridicule in the world of gardening. The whereabouts of Shawn faller these days are unknown. However one thing is for certain. Covington, KY will forever remember the legacy that is "Shawn the lawn Don"
Written by: Tyler Lindsay
This particular man was known for his notorious lawn care service in Kentucky.
There he became a well known king pin to all that was mowing, shearing or possibly even hedging. His ruthless weed whacking skills and cunning ability to control a vast number of Latinos, all illegal immigrants from "El' Paso" Mexico soon backfired during a small shoot out in Covington, KY. This would later be known as "the little Alamo" some witnesses say the battle was that of a territorial conflict between Shawn the lawn Don himself and local rival "Timothy Jones" a ten year old boy from the area, advertising with his convenient low prices at ten dollars a lawn to end the monopoly that Shawn and his Mexican alias had conceived over time. A record total of 462 people were brutally slain as causalities in the rapid cross fire between Shawn's legion and young Jones. After four days, the battle ended. The victor by default was Jones, having killed Shawn's entire small army while still managing to mow sixty seven lawns in the process. In his staggering humiliation, Shawn fled to Germany, a country he had already grown found of, to avoid his ridicule in the world of gardening. The whereabouts of Shawn faller these days are unknown. However one thing is for certain. Covington, KY will forever remember the legacy that is "Shawn the lawn Don"
Written by: Tyler Lindsay
Published with the help of Shawn Faller, Facebook, and the many Latinos that fought for Shawn Faller on that fateful day
No comments:
Post a Comment